Getting used to living in separate households can be stressful for parents and children, especially when parents are also having to juggle work commitments and arrangements for any holidays abroad. Jenna Atkinson and Louise Shaw from our family law team share some useful tips to help the school holidays run smoothly.
Work as a team as much as possible
Although relationships between parents may be strained and parents do not always see eye-to-eye, it is vital for parents to put any issues aside when dealing with children. It is important to be harmonious and to seek legal advice in order for an arrangement to be reached.
Make communication clear and consistent
Communication should be child focused and clear. It is important for each parent to communicate effectively and keep each other in the loop. If either parent is taking the children on holiday abroad, ensure that the flight number, dates and accommodation are provided to the other parent in case of an emergency. If communication is proving difficult, mediation could be considered. This will involve both parties discussing their circumstances with a mediator, who is a trained professional. The mediator will facilitate discussions between parties from a child focused perspective.
In terms of consistency of communication, when the children are in the care of the other parent, it may be considered appropriate for them to have indirect contact with the other parent. This will ensure the needs of the children are met as well as maintaining contact with the other parent. Indirect communication can involve Facetime calls, sending messages, or arranging telephone calls.
Plan as far in advance as possible
It’s vital for arrangements to be made well ahead of time and preferably in writing. Parents can make a schedule or parenting plan to ensure that they know exactly where the children will be on which days. This is also useful for the children, giving them a structure. Ensure that plans are confirmed and agreed by both parents in advance before telling the children.
If you want to take the children on holiday
The legal position for taking your children on holiday will depend on whether a court order is in place, as well as who has parental responsibility for the children. Where a court order is in place, and you are named as the parent the children live with, you can take your children out of the country for up to one month. If the order is a ‘Joint Lives With Order’, i.e. it states the children live with both parents, then either parent has this right.
Communication can often be key to matters not breaking down and it is always encouraged to notify your ex-partner in advance in relation to where and when you want to take your children away. It is also sensible to try to organise plans for the other parent to keep in touch with the children throughout the holiday, whether this be an occasional phone call or video call.
Try to be flexible
If parents are juggling work commitments while trying to make plans for their children, although a structure and plan is important, it is also important to make room for any last-minute changes. It may be that one parent has to go into the office, or one parent is ill. When this happens, it is important for parents to work together to agree arrangements that fit with both parents’ schedules.
Every family arrangement will differ and what works for one family, may not work for another. It is vital to remember that the welfare and feelings of the children are paramount. The school holidays should be a time that the children look forward to and enjoy, therefore it is important for parents to put their feelings aside and focus on the needs of the children.
What to do if arrangements can’t be agreed
If communication is proving difficult and arrangements cannot be agreed, it may be wise to arrange an appointment with a mediator, speak to a solicitor, or as a last resort apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. This order will determine where your child lives, when your child spends time with each parent and what other types of contact will take place between each parent and children. In children’s cases, there is a welfare checklist considered by the court and the best interests of the child/children and their welfare is the paramount consideration.
Should you wish to discuss matters further with our family team, a free initial consultation can be organised in person at one of our offices or over the phone. Please contact 01772 258321 to arrange.